Using this romantic picture of a Gin & Tonic, some plants and a candle in today’s post because it’s all about relationships and I think this is quite a romantic little set up! Now I have truly been forced to write this post because people do not listen to my advice. I have valuable advice to provide on this topic, not because I have a breadth of experience, but simply because I only need to experience something once before I learn how not to get into a situation like that again. And if I do, as these things happen, I know how to slam the door firmly shut very quickly and step on to my next opportunity.
So where do we begin? The messages I receive weekly about my friends relationships and the problems they are having are endless. It is astonishing how stressful you can make your relationship. Yes, I did say make there because I do believe it is a choice. I have very simple solutions to many problems that my friends face all the time and I am about to share them with you, so keep reading.
1. “I haven’t heard from him since yesterday morning, I can’t believe he hasn’t messaged me.” Truly, I can’t believe he hasn’t messaged you either. I mean, is he really even your boyfriend if he doesn’t check in with you every day? He might as well be Paul from the office or the bus driver you see every morning on the way to work. Oh wait, at this stage you probably speak to both of them more anyway, so you tell me what’s wrong here.
2. “He liked this girl’s photo on Instagram. Who is she?” This is just one of those situations where I don’t know what to say. I like so many photos on Instagram, I couldn’t tell you every single photo I liked yesterday, could I? Don’t play detective where there is nothing to detect girls. But if you’re dating the kind of guy that DMs girls he doesn’t know (meeting at a club doesn’t count as knowing someone FYI) on Instagram then you’re just dating the wrong kind of guy.
3. “He did sleep with her but what if it was a mistake?” You don’t mistakenly fall into bed with someone. That’s all I have to say on that.
4. “What if I don’t ever love anyone the way I loved him?” Look trust me, I think we’ve all said this at some point in our lives. But it was probably through a haze of tears in the heat of a heartbroken moment. Now that we’re thinking logically, with over 7 billion people in the world, tell me that you’re really going to waste time wondering about this one person? Really?
5. “All we do is argue all the time.” Then stop making every little thing in to an argument! I used to argue every single weekend over stupid little things like who was going to sleep on what side of the bed or who was going to wash the dishes after cooking dinner. When you’re feeling annoyed, just think about what you want to say, think about it again and say something else. Argument avoided.
6. “I think I saw him messaging another girl.” We, as girls, are so quick to jump to conclusions about things like this. But how many boys do you message? I know that if I was interrogated by my boyfriend about the people I messaged I’d be quite annoyed. I know it’s tough to accept, but we are all allowed to have friends. Although I think a little jealousy can be cute sometimes, which is something that some boys need to learn!
7. “Do you think his ex is pretty?” I’m sorry but his ex is probably very pretty. That’s just life. Scroll through her Instagram once if you have to and then don’t go on it again. It’s just torture trust me. I hate exes, don’t we all? How to be more attractive than his ex is to have some confidence in yourself. You’ve obviously got more to offer than her anyway, right?!
8. “He’s going out tonight.” Okay cool, go out with your girls too then, what’s the problem?
9. “He doesn’t support me.” Your partner should be your biggest fan. He should back you up in all situations. But don’t mistake that for him not being allowed to tell you when he thinks you’re wrong, as he can still have an opinion I’m afraid. You just need to find the right balance!
10. “He doesn’t take me out or make me feel special.” Honestly, Netflix and Chill is not for every single day of your relationship. If he doesn’t take you out for dinner or take you out period, then you might as well call your best friend and cuddle up with them instead! All girls like being wined (apart from me who doesn’t like wine!) and dined, don’t lie to me. And if he tries to make an issue out of paying the bill, then sorry he just doesn’t rate you. It’s happened to me before, but I can promise you it won’t happen again!
I think we should all know our worth. Know how you want to be treated and make sure that’s exactly what you’re getting. Do the best you can to make your relationship as smooth and stress free as possible because it can be done. And if something isn’t working, it just isn’t working. It will feel like the end of the world for a couple of months but a few months later you’ll be feeling better than ever! And if you’re single and still having boy drama, just remember that you’re single. You don’t need that stress in your life darling.