It’s Monday and it’s January 1st – a combination that I find particularly satisfying. It’s a new year, offering new beginnings, new opportunities and a clean slate for all of us. If there’s something you’ve been thinking of doing for months, like going to the gym or going travelling or even just something as simple as reading more books, then this is the time to start. Hopefully most of you aren’t too hungover from last night, although as you’ll probably already know from my blog post last night, I was at home in bed, rising only to watch the fireworks from my balcony. As usual.
I don’t tend to do new years resolutions anymore. You’ll already know from previous posts that I’m always setting myself little goals to achieve throughout the year and personally I just find that that’s what works best for me. Things change so quickly throughout the year that sometimes new years resolutions just become stale and I think it’s far more manageable to be constantly working towards different things than waiting until January 1st to begin trying to achieve the things you want. No shade at all to those of you who have set yourself new years resolutions, as I truly believe that setting yourself goals (no matter when you choose to do so) is so important in leading a happy and successful life.
Now I’m a pretty well organised person. I have planners and diaries, I’m very structured with what I do and I also live for the saying tidy space, tidy mind. I actually am not sure if that’s a real saying or not, but it definitely is for me. I keep everything in my room very neatly arranged and very clean. It is rare that you will find anything lying around on my floor or lying around in general. Pretty much everything must have a place and if it doesn’t, then I need to make sure I find a permanent home for it somewhere. The only thing that I sometimes struggle to keep organised is my huge collection of books, but I’m sure that’s something a lot of us struggle with? Too many books, not enough space!
Having said this, even though I feel like most parts of my life are very well put together and I’m extremely happy with all of it, there is one thing that I do struggle with. And that is my overall health. I’m going to let all of you in on a secret. I am terrified of the doctors. If you’re a good friend of mine you’ll know this already. But going to the doctors genuinely fills me with so much anxiety you cannot even imagine. It takes a hell of a lot to get me to go there and once I am there, I’m honestly sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room absolutely bricking it. My mind will be working at a hundred miles an hour. My posture will be so stiff I’ll hardly even be moving. I absolutely cannot stand the doctors.
Why? Well, you know when you’re not feeling yourself and you have a little Google to see what might be wrong with you? After reading all of the search results about serious illnesses, scaring yourself for a few minutes and then thinking logically and realising that you probably are not terminally ill, you’re usually able to come up with a couple of options regarding what might be wrong with you, right? So whenever I’ve had to go to the doctor, I’ve gone in there having already diagnosed myself with something pretty simple. And then when the doctor actually assesses my symptoms, they always come out and tell me that I have something completely random from what I’ve diagnosed myself with. And it’s never simple either. It’s always been something “rare” or “unusual”. Having said that, everything has been treatable and I’ve been fine. But the fact that this has happened 3 or 4 times in the past now has seriously put me off going to the doctor ever again.
For the past five or six years, maybe even more, I’ve just avoided going to the doctor. If I feel unwell, I just Google my symptoms and I try and treat myself. Which I know is awful, but I just can’t stand going. I also have a fear of germs at GPs and hospitals. If someone coughs or sneezes I feel like I’ve immediately caught something. Or even sitting on the chairs in the waiting room, my mind goes crazy thinking about all of the different people that have sat in the same chair and what might have been wrong with them when they did. In fact, hospitals are just one place you will never find me. In my head I just can’t imagine them being germ-free and safe enough for me to go to.
After reading all of this you probably think I’m a little bit crazy. Trust me, in my head I know that I massively over-react about these things, but I honestly can’t help it. Which is why, when a member of Hims reached out to me about a health guide that they have, I thought that it was probably worth considering. I mean, as you can tell, health is probably the topic I am least educated on so I need all of the guidance I can get! I’ve attached the guide below for you all to have a look at.