To Coco

Sadly, this is one of those posts that I never imagined I would be writing. I know that I don’t have to put anything out there on social media, but Coco was the cat of social media in our house. She loved people taking photos of her, she would work with you when you were trying to get her in all the best angles and lights. I mean, I think that’s pretty obvious from the main photograph on this post. Compared to my cat Tiggy, who looks away from the camera almost as soon as you get it out, Coco was the glitzing star of social media. 
My blog is my personal space on the internet to talk about whatever I choose. Sometimes it’s nice to look back through all the posts I’ve written and remember exactly what point I was at in my life when I wrote them. I’ve had this blog for 4 or maybe even 5 years now and that is a pretty long time. I want to be able to come back to this page whenever I choose and remember all of the wonderful things about Coco that always made me smile.
For a few weeks now, Coco had been suffering in silence from several different health problems. She was such a little trooper. She still came and sat with the family, she still let you cuddle and touch her. Even through everything, which I can now see had her in the worst state possible, she never cried out for us to help her. I think that she wanted to stay with us as long as she possibly could and that she didn’t want us to be sad worrying about her too much either.
I can’t go into too much detail about the exact symptoms that overcame her in the end because it makes me way too sad. The memories I have of her during her last couple of days will stay with me forever and that’s enough, I don’t want to describe them to anyone right now. But she had a cancerous growth that meant she was not going to survive and so my sister made the decision, with the vet’s guidance, to have her put down. Coco held on to her life for a miraculous amount of time, so we were able to go and say goodbye to her before it happened. Again, I think she did this on purpose. I think that even though she could feel how unwell she was, she wanted to be able to see us and especially my sister, one last time. I am so proud of her incredulous strength. 
This whole situation is truly heart-breaking. My life at home will never be the same without her. My routine when I got through that front door every evening would be to go straight into my sister’s room, say hello to my sister and then have some playtime with her cat. Usually, this was before I’d even taken off my coat or my bag – I would end up leaving these on my sister’s bed while I gave Coco all the love and attention she deserved. During the day, if we were all at home, me, my sister and Coco would all chill out in my room. For a lot of the time it was the three of us. And if it wasn’t the three of us, it was me intruding on my sister spending stupidly cute alone time with her cat. They were the real pair, but I was her second mummy. 
She was just the cutest little pet. She was so responsive and so happy to receive attention. She never got annoyed if you cuddled her too hard or stroked her for too long. You could hold her little paws while she slept and she wouldn’t be disturbed. And she had the cutest habit of getting excited and rubbing against things with such enthusiasm that you would wonder if she had hurt herself. Sometimes she did hurt herself, not on purpose, but because she loved to explore every corner of the house. Specifically all of the corners you instructed her not to play in. The wires behind the television, the pipes by the radiators. She never really listened if you told her not to do something but you could never really be too angry at her when she didn’t. She was just living her life the way she wanted to.
Coco had an annoying habit of going through bins and stealing food. When I came back from Harry Potter World after my birthday, I had bought myself a chocolate frog. This chocolate frog was firstly, huge and secondly, expensive. It took me a while to eat and during that time I cannot tell you how often I found Coco cradling my chocolate frog, getting ready to eat it. She kept stealing it behind my back! She stole a slice of pizza once, a boiled egg, various wrappers. But we were always kind of amazed by her ability to do it and we would always end up laughing about it in the end. 
My bedroom was like a back-up safe haven for Coco. Whenever anybody was hovering, she would come and hide underneath my covers. If she was ever lost for somewhere to hide, someone would pick her up and put her underneath my covers because that was where she felt safe from the hoover. She also spent a lot of time sleeping on my bed while I was at university or sitting on top of my little bedside cabinet. She would also sit underneath my bed, where I keep all of my shoes and so they would always end up knocked over. I would have to re-arrange my shoes so many times a day only to find that they were knocked over again because she was sitting on top of them! But it was worth it. 
Coco’s routine in the morning when she came out of my sister’s room, would be to come into my room and see what I was eating. Bear in mind that she would already have eaten breakfast herself as my sister was always very prompt with her feeding times. If I was eating a bowl of cereal, Coco would wait on my floor and cry out to me to give her some milk. Then she would jump up on the bed, sit with me or next to me and wait for me to let her drink the milk. I would only ever leave a tiny bit in there for her, but when you heard the way her heart would race and how quickly her little tongue would lap at this milk, it was just the best thing ever.
In the Summer, because our cats are indoor cats, we would let them out onto our balcony for some time each day. To soak up some sun, to get some fresh air, I’m sure you know the drill. If it was too windy or too noisy, they didn’t really like it. So, alternatively, Coco would always find a little patch of sun on my bedroom floor and sleep there instead. She would always follow me around the house. Or I would chase her around the house, which I have multiple videos of (thank god!). Sometimes she would follow you so silently, that you wouldn’t even realise she was there. You’d just suddenly hear a really loud cry next to you and turn to see her staring up at you with her gorgeous green eyes.
Her fur was always silky soft, every single day of all her 10 years with us. The pretty pattern of her black and white coat made it look like she wore a black mask. She was always so gorgeous, even in her last days I thought she was the most charming little princess.

She deserves to be happy, to not be in pain. Although I will miss her so much, I know that she is better off now and she will be in my heart and in my life forever.

Coco – 19.02.2018

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