Why You Can’t Get The Girl

Boys, boys, boys. You guys always love it when I write a post about boys and if I’m being honest, so do I. However, today’s post is not about me and boys. It’s actually going to be targeted at boys in general. And why some boys just can’t get the girl.

We all know that one boy who is just continually friend zoned or that can’t hold down any kind of relationship or that approaches you in the club and gets annoyed when you don’t pay him any attention. I’m about to list the reasons why you’re failing miserably at securing anything.

First of all, there are so many guys out there who just do not know how to approach a girl. As I’ve said before, calling out to me on the street is an absolute no. You will not even get a sideways glance from me. My tunnel vision will activate in a millisecond – you will not be seen. Please just don’t do it. I’ve had guys grab me in the street before on a night out, I’ve had guys grab me in clubs as I’m walking by, I’ve had guys chat to me as I’m walking down the street going shopping or going to the gym. You are just wasting your breath and I will make you look very stupid when I pretend I don’t see you.

If you’re going to approach a girl, first of all don’t shout. Maybe actually walk up to her, apologise for interrupting her and then say whatever great speech you have planned. That’s the only way I reckon I’d give a guy the time of day. Show me your manners and I just might listen!

However, these are the basics and a lot of boys do have this covered in my experience. So once you’ve actually got the girl’s attention, keep it. Be interesting, hold her attention, have a way about you. One of my friends and I talk about this a lot. You’ve got to have a way about you, it’s actually a deal breaker for me. It’s difficult to explain but there are some guys out there who just have a way about them. Their mannerisms, the way they talk, the way they talk to you. For me, they’re a little bit cocky, but not obnoxious or arrogant. They compliment you but they don’t exaggerate and they don’t compliment you over and over – they leave you wanting more. They’re a bit sarcastic and you can have a bit of banter with them. There’s got to be a good bit of back and forth. Having good chat is just so important.

In fact, having good chat is really important. Girls always say they want a guy who can make them laugh. But then that guy comes along and you’re laughing and laughing so much, that you realise you don’t fancy them at all. They’re funny as in the kind of person you’d want to talk to when you’re feeling down. And what do we call that kind of person? We call them… a friend. Funny guys are friends. Blink twice if that’s you, you’re not alone. Plenty of guys are being friend zoned as we speak from telling too many jokes. And don’t mistake a girl’s incessant laughter for a good sign either. Sometimes we’re just laughing because it’s so awkward that there’s really no other way to relieve the tension.

Another thing is mannerisms. You know those boys that are just so over the top touchy. Like they’re talking to you and they’re touching your arm, your hair, they’re following you around the club. Ew. A few weeks ago when I went out, I met this guy that I thought I might like. We had a couple of things in common, he was decent looking, so I took his number and then moved on with my night. Obviously, I’m single so I’m pretty open to getting to know new people. But on a night out that doesn’t mean I’ll just stick with the first guy I see. I want to see what else is out there, make an informed decision. In fact, my aim is to meet as many boys as possible so that I have some decisions to make the next morning. Clearly, this guy did not get that because when I saw him again later in the night he was all over me and would not leave me alone. I tried to make my excuses, said I was heading home and he then offered to get his friend to drive us home. I then said we were getting food first and he decided to tag along. While my friend took her sweet time in the kebab shop, I had to wait with this guy while he muttered in my ear about how gorgeous I was and how I was wifey material. I was bored. I then flagged a taxi and got in it, thinking this would be a good hint. But it wasn’t a big enough hint because he got in it with me! Tried to convince me that I wanted to get with him because “we might never see each other again”.

This is a prime example of being sloppy. Do not be sloppy, it’s unattractive. I’m not going to get with someone who just hands it to me on a plate, I do actually want to have to put in some work. You don’t have to do all the touching, let me touch you. Boys completely underestimate how a girl will behave if they’re interested. And if she’s not touching you back, maybe it’s time to abort mission. If that guy hadn’t grabbed me as I was going into another bar, maybe I would have been thinking about him later in the night. And if I’d seen him, maybe I would have gone up to him myself. But he was so in my face, so forceful, so all over me that I got bored very quickly. That, plus some other very questionable things he said made me delete his number and not text him the next day. 

But say now you’re not the kind of guy who gets friend zoned because he’s funny. Say you’ve approached a girl the right way, you’ve got a way about you and you can tell she’s interested. If a guy asks for my number I personally usually take theirs. I don’t mind making the first move to text them and I quite like having the choice. So now we’re on to the texting…
Be flirty! Don’t ask how are you, how was your day, what are you doing this evening. I mean yeah ask this a few times but the chat has got to go somewhere beyond that for the whole thing to go anywhere at all. Ask something interesting, tell her something interesting about yourself. Make the conversation interesting! I hate it when boys ask me really boring questions. You’re not giving me any reason to reply and you’re not showing any of your personality, so what do I have to be interested in?
Also, don’t leave her on read – it’s not cool. Don’t read the message if you’re not going to reply. We are all millennials, we’re all on our phones constantly. If you read the message, you’ve got to reply. This is basic and it applies to everyone really. Not just boys, but particularly boys. It also applies to like every stage of the relationship. You won’t get away with it when you’re “seeing” each other, when you’re her boyfriend or when you’re her husband. So just save yourself some trouble and get into the habit now.
And if you do all of this, then you just might get the girl. 😍

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