Being confident is really not simple. It’s sad because many of the best dispositions to have in life are not simple to achieve. It’s not always easy to be happy, for example. You can’t just flip a switch and immediately feel great, life doesn’t work like that. We all have our down days and I just thought I’d put my tips for bringing myself back up into a little blog post for you.
A big thing that makes me feel down sometimes, is comparing myself to others. My friends for example – every single one of my friends is an absolute bombshell in my opinion. And I’m not just saying that. I have looked at all of my friends at one point or another and felt some ounce of jealousy. Not in a negative sort of way but just in the sense that I think they’re so great. There are traits in all of my friends that I admire and I sometimes do wish I could be more like them in particular ways.
I see girls all the time that I feel a little bit jealous of. I find it hard not to be critical of myself. I even thought to myself earlier that I can’t use this picture because my face looks weird in it. But then I thought, that’s probably just my face, you know? But being more like random girls that I’ve seen on Instagram or being more like my friends would just make me less like me. At the end of the day, for the most part, I’m happy with who I am. Friendships work because you all bring different things to the table and it’s important to remember that.
One of my friends asked me today why I keep wasting time on guys that are not good enough for me. Even my best friend said it to me a couple of days ago. Most of the time it’s really not a conscious decision. When I get something in my head, I have to have it and it’s as simple as that. But I did think to myself, are they right? Part of being confident is knowing your worth isn’t it and sometimes, I have to admit that I forget mine. I hate saying that someone isn’t good enough for me because there’s a part of me that thinks, who am I to say I’m better than them? But you have to know your own worth. Not just so that you give your time to the right people but also because it’s important to appreciate how great you are!
One of the things that I always try to maintain (and some people may say this is a bad thing) is an unapologetic manner. Of course, sometimes I do things that warrant an apology and those situations are completely separate to what I’m talking about now. What I’m saying here is that I’m never going to apologise for being me. Sometimes I say things that people don’t like and that’s fine! The simple solution for them is to stop listening to me. I’m not really sorry about it and I don’t feel bad for it because I’ve just accepted that I’m a very honest, straight talking person. The people that I keep around me have accepted this too. The people who don’t? They just don’t matter.
And that’s not to say that I’m just this awful person who says horrible things all the time. Not at all. I say unpleasant things sometimes and people think they’re horrible simply because they didn’t want to hear them. Doesn’t make it any less true. You simply can’t please everybody in life and trying to do so is honestly just going to be exhausting for you in the end.
Having said that, I’m not always so nonchalant about what people think. There are certain situations where I have all these internal battles about whether I should or shouldn’t do something. The only reason I question myself is because I’m thinking about what other people think. Then it completely stops me from doing the things that I want to do, simply because other people who are completely irrelevant to me, might see me differently. At the end of the day, I know that my friends are never going to judge me. My best friend in particular never judges me for anything and she’s seen me/knows about me being in all kinds of situations. Will she tell me the truth? Yes. But she will never make me feel bad for doing something unless it really was a bad thing to do.
I guess the main way that I maintain a strong level of confidence is just by knowing myself. I have a very firm sense of who I am and what I’m like and I think that once you’ve accepted that, there aren’t many ways that someone can break your confidence down. As I said earlier, we all have down days. But knowing yourself and therefore knowing that you’re more than your down days is a great way to pick yourself back up.
What are your tips for feeling confident?